for the meantime...no more.

once upon a time, i got hold of a copy of this interesting piece of material. and once upon a time, with every reading that i do, i'd get punctured and needled and besighed with the truthfulness of the words.

today, an officemate forwarded this to me.
suspending my work, albeit temporarily, i have decided to do this material a fresh reading. and now, inject insights.
as i can identify with the meantime girl no more.
i bleed no more.

The Meantime Girl

She`s the one you call when you`re bored because she makes you laugh. She`s the one you talk to when you`re feeling down because she`s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She`s not the one you call when you need a date to your company`s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She`s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find `The One`. hanggang ngayon naman. especially that i am single anew. Guy friends who are in fucked-up relationships..okay, let me rephrase that, "badgered guys in a fucked-up relationships" - to borrow some friend's words - turn to me for a fresh vista on things...for a reminder to stop and smell the roses. to get them laughing again. to ask how their day went by. to make them feel how nice it is to be checked out without being nagged. to re-assure them that they're doing good. doing well. that yes, they are giving their darndest in their present undertaking and that they need to have a break once in a while. heck, if i could only charge people for the kind of cheering up that i do for them, i would have been a millionaire by now! but then again, that's the magic of friendship, right?

You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME. i think it is of disservice to my kindness to be treated as a meantime girl, right?

She`s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, definitely, hindi na ako one of the boys dahil i've graduated from dressing up as one of the boys...inasmuch as i've already proven that i am no lesbian...but you don`t look at her as a "real" woman, either. She`s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. not bitchy enough? think again. not moody enough? think again. hehehehe kaya nga "volatile" ang creature na 'to eh....She`s too laid-back, maybe, at times.too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by maybe, at times.. She`s too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn`t make you feel nervous or excited the way a `real` woman does. unaffected...=)

But she`s cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you`re lonely and need intimate female companionship, she`ll do just fine. You don`t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don`t have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You`re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. because, one is simply being a friend. and you are thinking of someone else, a girl who could be a friend and has the potential to function as a GF-poser, but minus the complexities.

She`s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don`t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she`ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn`t the beginning of a relationship or that there`s any possiblity that you have any real romantic feelings for her. because men (who are in reality, little tykes) will always be after the intangible freebies of a (platonic) relationship. and this may include the affection that women are more than always ready to give wholeheartedly...sometimes, taking advantage of it to the fullest...becoming needy, demanding creatures who wouldn't want to be badgered back in the same needy, demanding way and at times appending that word 'dramatics' to the process.

It won`t bother her that you`ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you`ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you.

She`ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went.

She`s just so cool.. why can`t all women be like that?! because, not all women are as special, skilled in the art of intellectual stimulation --- be it a melee or laidback, relaxed conversation, beautiful (yes, todo buhat na 'to!) and charmingly humble (yes, sabay kabig!) at the same time.

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn`t important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don`t think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. paulit-ulit lang 'to. wala lang kasi 'balls' ang ibang guys. sheesh. sometimes, fault din naman ng girls. nilalagay sila sa pedestal. almost demi-god-like. hindi naman dapat. tsk.tsk.tsk.

Sure, it`smostly her fault, because she doesn`t have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn`t pull it off. watch me pull it off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type. now, see who's into categorizing now.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. yeah..moon over this line...goddess..hehehehe...i'm goddess. =P

You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, well, a very good friend of mine has already asked me to be the best man in his wedding and i was more than happy to be one. and it's all because we have witnessed each other undergo the most devastating moments in each other's lives. and remain good friends, minus the romantic strings. thank God! tama ba Yeoj? hahaha and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.heck, i'll wear an elegant gown as a 'best man'. can't afford to look like a beggar in my bestfriend's wedding. >wink!<>

She doesn`t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. sigh...i think i have opened many doors with half a smile. Mainly, she blends in with the crowd.i readily blend in a crowd, but i always stand out...sabi nga ng isang special person in my past, no matter how low-profile i try to be, i will always stand out. become who i am born to be. naks. lord of the rings 'yan bro! hahaha She`s safe. but of course. She doesn`t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. yes, reluctant star and hesitant hearthrob. hahaha just figured, masarap pala ang feeling to make heads turn...=)
so, head turner ito.

But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has heart. a woman also happens to be human...a very special creature of God.

In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you`ve ever known because she`s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. smile.smile.smile.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you`ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. - Anonymous
AMEN. So, never take (me) women for granted. Because you'll never know the kind of blessing you would be missing. =)